Undisclosed Location in the North Pole, December 2016
St. Nicolas is the latest high-profile figure to adopt the last-mile solution.
The partnership—whose details have not been disclosed– is the latest in a series of acquisitions aimed at streamlining the global operation.
“The gifting landscape has changed, and to stay ahead, we’re constantly scanning the horizons for new technologies”. Peppermint, Santa’s CTO and longtime inner-circle-elf, made it clear in advance there would be no access to the Chairman of the Board. “The sheer volume we’re processing is truly remarkable.” The self-adulating creature offered interesting insights to the business. “Exponential growth in both population and internet use have backlogged our production lines and shin-splinted our reindeers. We’re excited about this integration and expecting this investment to scale our activities.”
A Nielsen researcher familiar with the terms of the deal said the real reason behind the investment stemmed from strategic shift of policy. Under the condition of anonymity, he indicated Santa’s plan to begin serving the Naughty and Bad, which have for years been two of the fasted growing revenue streams.
For the CEO of Bringg, Ra’anan Cohen, the reason behind the purchase is not important. “The value in a Bringg-Santa cooperation has been clear from the get-go. Our cutting-edge platform will dispatch tasks, optimize routes, and give kids everywhere an Uber-like tracking experience for their toys. We’re looking forward to a fruitful partnership in this forward-thinking industry. Cohen, who believes in applicability within all verticals hinted towards his next big customer: “We’re constantly penetrating new markets, and I can say with confidence, we’re in final discussions with the right people in Gotham City. Stay tuned”.